The Blog that Time Forgot

The fact that I created a blog nested somewhere in the back of my mind and became overgrown with the twisted vines of real life until a friend mentioning their blog reminded me of my sad, neglected internet space.  The truth of it is that I haven't felt much like writing lately, though I had no idea it had been four years since I last graced this page with my thoughts.  Things have changed, yet they remain the same.   I'm a happier me, I think.  I'm fortunate to be surrounded by people I love and who love me in return.  I'm still prone to rambling, nonsensical conversations.  I still squeal with delight over tiny cute things.

My thoughts seem to be focused on the past today, recalling fond memories of family times and feeling nostalgic for those who are no longer with me.  I don't know if visiting with a cousin briefly yesterday triggered this or recalling fondly my cousin in Arizona because today is Veterans' Day.  I grew up surrounded by family, a huge family, and we don't spend time together like we used to.  I think that's what my heart is longing for today, a big ol' family gathering.  I don't often express it, but family is important to me.  Those connections ground us, help us understand who we are, where we come from, and give us a shelter in this storm of life.  Since I last posted, I've lost a cousin to cancer and my grandmother passed away at 93.  I feel connected to them and to the family who have passed before as I write this.  I know it sounds crazy, but I feel them near me today, not in a spooky, creepy, ghosty way, but in warm, enveloping way.  Memories of good times with family keep flooding my brain, and while it brings a tear to the eye, it is still a good thing.

My family shaped me, raising me with love and a gentle spirit, showing me that character, treating others with kindness, keeping your word, and being there for each other were things that mattered.  Though I may not talk to my family every day, I know they are there for me and that I am there for them.  One of things my husband found strange about my family is that conversations seem to pick up after not seeing other for months, or even years.  He commented that it was like no time had passed since we last saw each other. There is a unity, a oneness, that connects us despite the ravages of time and distance, and I feel fortunate that we have that.